Lovers and friends, I left you hanging last week. I know none of you were actually waiting to have an oversized bag of theology-adjacent motherhood content dumped into your inbox, but I take seriously my commitment to opening up dialogue in this space, so I am sorry. I do not have an excuse, but I do have an explanation and it is a toddler with a fever. It was pitiful and worrisome and worked its way out of her system in just a few days, but one of those days was a babysitter day which, of course, I had to cancel through gritted teeth.
I’d drafted a post in my journal early in the week surrounding the topic of motherhood as practical discipleship; a means of “working out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12). I will write about this, but I can’t today because it is the middle of February in the middle of Ohio and I am grumpy—have been for weeks. Can’t shake it. Everything is irritating: the “quaint” small town that are quaint because people pay for it to stay that way; Christian Contemporary Music; the man sitting a few feet away from me in the library eating peanut M&Ms and answering his phone at full volume; my daughter’s sudden refusal to be put down for a nap; the internet’s insistence that my role as a mother is to ensure that my kids’ childhood is magical. Bees in my bonnet, all of them! (If I had to wear a bonnet for real that would certainly be added to this list).
I have a hundred things I want to write (okay, actually like…four) but the words can’t edge their way around The Grump™️. But I must write! My writing heroes (Wendell Berry and Mary Oliver as of today) insist that in order to cultivate one’s writing, one must write often, even if clinically grumpy. So here’s what I’m going to do: first, I’m going to make a little poll where I’d very much appreciate you help me decide what to write next. Then I’m going to share a number of very helpful resources that have stoked my curiosity and affections over the last few weeks.
Help me please!
Below you’ll find four options for the next post here on Notes from Home. Let me give you a little text hors d'oeuvre (googled how to spell that, thank you very much) to whet your appetite:
Mothering as Practical Discipleship: this one’s rooted in a steady, bubbling anger toward the “Cute-ification” of motherhood in western culture. Much of our cultural disrespect for motherhood, I think, comes from the way we speak about motherhood as this sweet, plump, pink little thing for women with an abundance of compassion and craft supplies. I’d love to open up a conversation around how deeply and truly the long road of mothering children actually hits all the major points of what Christ called “the way”. It isn’t cheap and it isn’t always cute, and that’s precisely why we (as the Church) need to take it seriously.
Spiritual Adolescence: I became a Christian in earnest nearly 20 years ago. I was thinking about what I was like when I was 20, how desperately I wanted to feel like a grown up and how very far away I was from actually being a grown up. Late adolescence was a time of profound expansion and change for me: unlearning things I’d always assumed to be true, having my eyes opened to a vast newness in Christ, establishing myself as an individual apart from my family of origin: you get it, college stuff. Now that I am a grown up, relatively firmly, I’d like to say my spirituality has followed suit; that my soul has caught up with my body. But it has not. I know spiritual development and physical/social development do not happen at the same rate, but if they did, I’d have a great metaphor from which to write an article for you. :)
The Church’s Mentorship Crisis: This one’s pretty meta, y’all! And you know I love meta (as a concept, not as a tech monopoly)! My husband and I share a pretty deep concern with the lack of mentorship (or, to use a churchy word, ‘discipleship’) in the American church. The reason for the crisis is multifaceted and a little beyond my scope, but the reality and the potential danger of it is very real. We are seeing it at increasing levels and with increasing alarm. This would be a start to an ongoing conversation about the collapse of intentional spiritual friendships and what might be done to recover this essential element of the church.
A Love Letter to the “Older Siblings”: I am an eldest daughter who is now raising an eldest son who is mirroring back to me all the pressure that inadvertently gets picked up by us eldests, even if our parents had the best intentions. Last week, I was on my friends’ podcast discussing the Parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, and it got me, man. I see so much of the “older brother” in myself: doing all the right things, expecting a reward, missing the entire point (love and belonging) because I’m so focused on being “right” and “good”—and yet, the Father comes out to invite us inside, back to the seat at his table that’s already and always ours. This will likely be more like a plea to stop trying so hard to earn the love of God that you already have in Christ, to stop long enough to accept grace (this is so hard lol) even if you accomplished zero things this week and you’ve dropped all the balls and you’re so angry that you could scream.
Okay! Now you choose - what do you want to read first?
Really Good Listens:
I take in most of my media through my earbuds (audiobooks and podcasts) because in this season of life, my body is in motion unless I am asleep. Lucky for me, this is the era for great audio content! Here are some things to listen to that I hope encourage, challenge, and delight you:
No Small Endeavor (podcast)
No Small Endeavor with ethics and theology professor Lee C. Camp has become my favorite podcast this year. Their tagline is “Exploring what it means to live a good life.” OKAY. It’s one of those publications that I come across and think “Damn, I wanted to do that!”
His interview with relationship expert Dr. Alexandra Solomon blew me away and led me to dig into her website and podcast, which are full of resources for folks who want to grow in their self-awareness so that they might become better partners, parents, and friends.
Here are a few other episodes that brought me to tears:
“What it Takes to Live a Good Life with Meghan Sullivan”
“Art and Faith with Makoto Fujimura”
The Free Press’ Interview with Louise Perry
This was my first time hearing of Louise Perry, anthropologist and author, and after this singular listen, I am firmly in the honeymoon phase with her work. She describes the (dire!!!!!) state of our current cultural understanding and expectations of romance, dating, love, marriage, and technology with total poise and conviction and explains how she came to realize the “Christian sexual ethic” was right “against her will”. When I tell you my jaw was on the floor the entire time! I fist-bumped in the shower! An absolute must-listen!
Practicing the Way’s Scripture Series
I know, I know, JMC is so trendy. But their current series on Scripture in conjunction with the scholar team from Bible Project (BIG crush on these brains) is so good. I just finished their episode on wisdom and meditation literature in the Bible and am so refreshed and encouraged as a person with a creative brain who reads the Bible and is tired of all the intellectualism that chokes out so much of the beauty of the Scriptures.
Okay! That’s all for now! I’ve gotta hustle to the pickup line at school. Please let me know where you’d like to go tother next week by voting on the poll above. And thank you for being a reader and supporter of my work here. It means the world to me, even grumpy me!
Honestly, all of the topics sound great! Tough choice. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!